Did You Stop Surprising Yourself?

Be honest. When was the last time you did something that made your heart race, not because of fear or obligation, but because it was wildly, gloriously unfamiliar?

Most people don’t realise it’s happening, but somewhere between careers, commitments, and comfort, we stop surprising ourselves. We trade the thrill of the unknown for the safety of routine. We settle into what we see as efficient patterns of life, yes, but living a lifeless life. And slowly, silently, our curiosity dies.

Surprise Yourself

Slow Death of Curiosity

Think about it: when we were kids, we climbed trees without thinking about the risk. We’d jump off swings, talk to strangers, create games out of nothing, and dance like lunatics without music. Every day was a surprise. Every moment had potential. Then life got louder. Expectations got heavier.

We became adults. And with that title came a silent, culturally approved shift: be sensible. Be stable. Be predictable.

Here’s the problem: predictability is a killer of wonder. And wonder, as it turns out, is the fuel for joy, growth, and connection.

Research That Screams the Truth

A 2021 study published in Psychological Science found that novel experiences are directly correlated with increased happiness and stronger memory formation. The brain responds to novelty like it’s being fed: dopamine is released, engagement spikes, and time feels slower, but fuller. In other words, your brain rewards you for being bold.

The flip side?

Neuroscientist Dr. David Eagleman warns that when our days become repetitive and our decisions automated, our perception of time can collapse. He indicates that when nothing changes, your brain saves energy by compressing time.

David Eagleman is a neuroscientist, author, and professor known for his work on brain plasticity, perception, and time, as well as for making complex neuroscience accessible to the public through books and television.

That’s why years can pass in a blur, and why many people ask, “Where did the last decade go?”

Because the truth is: you stopped doing new things. You stopped surprising yourself.

The Trap of the “Settled Self”

We like to think of identity as fixed: “I’m not that kind of person,” or “That’s just not me.” But the reality is, identity is fluid.

What’s happening is we’ve become habitual. You’re not dull. You’ve just forgotten how exhilarating it is to become again.

Every time you say no to something new because it’s inconvenient or uncomfortable, you reinforce a life script written in safety, but edited by regret. You don’t need a complete reinvention. You just need a jolt.

Ask Yourself:

• When was the last time you took a different route home to see what’s there?

• When did you last say yes before you talked yourself out of it?

• When did you last wake up with that tingly feeling that today might change everything?

If the answer is “I don’t remember,” that’s not an indictment. It’s an invitation.

Your Life Needs More Curveballs (Thrown by You)

Surprise doesn’t have to mean skydiving or selling everything to travel the world. It’s about waking up your senses again.

Here’s how to start:

• Break a Pattern on Purpose

A simple but effective starting point is to eat dinner for breakfast or go to the movies alone. Speak to someone you usually avoid. Flip your routine just enough to remind yourself you’re not stuck, you’re choosing.

• Do One Thing You Think You’re “Too Old” For

Whether it’s learning guitar, trying street dance, joining a beginner’s boxing class, or wearing red lipstick, try the thing you secretly wish you hadn’t abandoned in your 20s. Mine was surfing, at 42, I loved it.

• Plan One “First” This Month

Your first time paddleboarding. Your first zip lining through the forest. Your first cold plunge. Your first open mic. Firsts create space for magic. And they remind you that growth didn’t end when your twenties did.

• Let Curiosity Lead a Day

No schedule. No outcome. Just follow your nose: go where your interest takes you. Walk through a street you’ve never explored. Let spontaneity guide you. You might meet yourself again.

Final Thought: Did You Stop Surprising Yourself? Because You Are Not Done Yet

One of the most dangerous lies society whispers to people over 40 or 50 is that you’ve hit your peak, that your best days are behind you, that now is the time to “settle.”

But here’s what no one tells you: You don’t need permission to astonish yourself.

Your most powerful version might still be waiting behind the next “yes.” Behind the thing that scares you a little. Behind the door, you stopped knocking on because it didn’t open fast enough.

Reignite that spark.

• Surprise yourself.

• Challenge your assumptions.

• Step outside your storyline.

Because life isn’t meant to be watched from the safety of the sidelines.

It’s meant to be lived with wide eyes, open arms, and a heart that still knows how to wonder.